Single Review: Lindsay Lohan “Rumors”

Rumors
Album: Speak
Year: 2004

In “Mean Girls,” Lindsay Lohan is the socially awkward Cady. Even when Cady morphs into one of the Plastics, she is still sympathetic and likeable. Fresh-faced and sweet, Lohan projected naivete onscreen as well as on the web. Her website is designed in neon pink and hearts.

Offscreen, Lohan’s life is full of partying, paparazzi, and plastic surgery rumors. And in her new single, “Rumors,” she’s ticked off about it. It begins as a harmless dance song, as she talks about walking into the club and enjoying the atmosphere (“Saturday stepping into the club/listening to everyone telling the DJ to turn it up/I feel the energy all around/and my body can’t stop moving to the sound”) Then it quickly takes on a petulant, spoiled tone as she bemoans the paparazzi who follow her and then write what they saw (“But I can tell that you’re watching me/and you’re probably going to write what you didn’t see.”) But isn’t that what you want? When hanging out with Paris Hilton and Tara Reid, it’s an automatic mention on Page Six — and publicity. Publicity which helps the public get interested in your career. She asks for privacy to be respected. Then stop going to the red hot clubs in L.A., flaunting your boyfriend and your breasts around town then.

In the chorus she sings that “I’m tired of rumors starting/I’m sick of being followed/I’m tired of people lying/Saying what they want about me.” Welcome to the modern world of celebrity journalism. Us Weekly thrives on those “Stars Just Like Us!” photo and gosh darn it, it’s a pleasure to see a usual put together celebrity stuff food into their mouths.

In the second verse, she’s in the club again, talking about the paparazzi taking pictures of her (“Here we are now, back up in the club/people taking pictures like they can’t get enough”). And then adds in a haughty tone, “And I would like to say respectfully/if you would take the cameras off of me/because I just want a little room to breathe/can you please respect my privacy?” Please, paparazzi take more pictures of her. Torture her like she is all the unsuspecting radio listeners with her complaining. Taunt if you have to. You can even borrow my camera to do it. She’s egging you on!

She sings in the pre-chorus “why can’t you just let me do/the things I want to do/I just want to be me/I don’t understand why you would want me to bring me down/I’m only having fun/I’m going to live my life.” Please Lindsay, then live your life and grow up while you’re at it.

Her talent is in acting, not crappy dance pop music that couldn’t even be saved with a Felix Da Housecat or Murk remix. She sings in a heavily computerized voice that is devoid of any range. It’s like Britney’s voice but without the croaking. However, if she keeps this nasty attitude up, she won’t even have an acting career left.

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