While flipping through the channels one day, I came across Eve’s sitcom, “Eve.” Missy Elliott was rapping that Eve wants to party and find hot men with six pack abs. She’s cool and everybody likes her. It got me thinking: who would be singing my theme song and what it would it be about?
First, it would have to be written by Cathy Dennis and sung by Kylie Minogue. Kylie would sing “Dusk, she’s fun, rollercoasters she does not fear/She’s kinda clumsy but it’s endearing!/Oh, it’s time to dance and enjoy life/la la la, Dusk”).
In the bitter and selfish “Satsification,” Eve declares all the material things she buys makes her happy. However, it can’t make her personality tolerable.
She raps that people were wanting to hear more music from her and she wasn’t about let people down. She says people are jealous of her and wish they could be rich like her. She says some men are okay but most aren’t. But she’s only interested in men with money. If they won’t give her proper credit, she’ll just walk away, hey. ‘Cause she’s a material girl living a material world. (“Now I’ma do this thing like it ain’t done before/Never leave the game stranded, I had to give more/I’ma give you what you want, what you waitin’ for?/Make the music that the people can’t ignore/A lotta n***** is b******, a lotta b****** be trippin’/A lotta them be wishin’ that they was in my position….Most dudes is okay (Half of the rest ain’t)…Ask ’em what they life worth, watch ’em draw a blank/I really ain’t got no interest if it don’t involve the bank”).
She’s nice to the men out of her tax bracket out of obligation but mostly she blows them off. She justifies her snotty behavior by saying that’s how people were when she was growing up. She thinks she hasn’t changed but her some of her friends think she has become stuck-up. But she really doesn’t care and prefers to hang out with people with money. (“Most of the time I’m nice to ’em (Half the time I’m not)/It ain’t nothin’ new though (Learned it from off the block)/People think I changed much ‘cuz I’m livin’ good/Now they get my voicemail, hear them callin’ me rude?/Sometimes I feel bad (Most of the time I don’t”). She thinks people are going to steal from her and she wants everything to herself. She vows to never be poor again.(“Cuz if I don’t protect my s*** (Other n***** won’t)/Some want me to neglect my s***(Take it for a joke?!)/But I’m stayin’ on the grind (Never goin’ back to broke”).
In the chorus, she raps that if she sees something she wants, she gets it. People are excited to hear her music. Buying things gives her a sense of accomplishment and entitlement.(“Anything I want/I’ma get it ‘cuz I know I need it/It’s Evey comin’ and I know you heated…Gotta have it, bet I’m gonna grab it/Ain’t nothin’ better than the satisfaction…Everything I am/Just because I had to make it happen/They never thought that I would make it rappin'”).
She repeats the “now I’ma do this thing….make the music people can’t ignore” again. Money can’t buy originality, either. She tells people what a good team she and Dr. Dre make. Radio stations play the single all the time. (“Dre and Bombshell, don’t you love how it blend?/Radio stations, DJ’s they spin/told y’all determined to win”). She tells her competition she’s the best and don’t even try to release music. She warns her competition that she won’t be forgotten while she’s making movies and television shows. (“Ain’t nothin’ happenin’, this whole s*** is my s*** b**** and I’m the captian/Can’t beat me join me baby then get to clappin’/Bang it in ya whip to get ya neck snappin’/I know you hopin’ that I rest so you can breathe”). She wants to be the most famous person ever and she’s going take every offer if it means she stays in the public eye (“Ready for whatever, was trained to maintain/And I always been a savage ’bout the fame/I gotta conquer it all now the world’s my mission”).
In the third verse, she raps that remains close with the Ruff Ryders, the group of rappers which gave her the break she needed. (“Still I Ruff Ryde but I got my team/And we ain’t goin’ nowhere ’till we lock the game/). Umm…Eve, DMX retired last year. I don’t think he cares as much as you do. Until they make another album together, they’re going to be successful on their own. (“But in the meantime ball while we live the dream”).
The beats proudced by Dr. Dre are lazy and boring. Eve’s raps are just there. She doesn’t have anything new to say nor she does even have any clever similes. It’s all about her and nobody else. Eve has devolved from her original social message image and has become the epitome of every mainstream rapper: greedy and shallow.