Don’t Phunk With My Heart
Album: Monkey Buisness
Will.i.am reassures Fergie he’s faithful. However, she thinks once he sleeps with her, he’s gone in the xeroxed beats of “Don’t Phunk With My Heart.”
Ceremonious strings and drums start the single. Fergie then sings the chorus with Hindi vocals.(“no no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart (yeah)/No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart.”)
Hard-hitting drums follow with the Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam sample, “I Wonder If I Take You Home” underneath it.
After the chorus is sung once “no, no, no, no don’t phunk with my heart,”) Fergie sings a striking version of the sample’s chorus. (“I wonder if I take you home/Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)/I wonder if I take you home/Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby”)
Once Will.i.am dryly raps, the vigor evaporates. He tells Fergie that he’s dedicated to her and deep down she knows it. She got his attention right away. A pistol gunshot is then heard (to go with the word.) He’s in love with her and says he’s not leaving her. She has him for life. (“Girl, you know you got me, got me/With your pistol shot me, shot me/And I’m here helplessly/In love and nothing can stop me./You can’t stop me cause once I start it/
Can’t return me cause once you bought it/I’m coming baby, don’t got it (don’t make me wait)/
So let’s be about it.”)
In the second verse, he says he’s not using her for sex. He likes her brain and thinks she’s a special girl. He would like a serious relationship with her. He’s someone she can rely on. (“Baby, have some trustin’, trustin’/When I come in lustin’, lustin’/Cause I bring you that comfort/
I ain’t only here cause I want ya body/I want your mind too/Interestin’s what I find you/
And I’m interested in the long haul/Come on girl (yee-haw.”)
The cringeworthy “yee-haw!” is topped by sound of horse galloping and Will.i.am telling it to “come on!” It’s as a bad as coleslaw stuck in the sun for a few hours.
After the pre-chorus (“I wonder if you take me home…”) and chorus, the third verse begins. He says their relationship is not unstable. He then compares them to R&B’s Sid and Nancy – Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. He’s not himself lately, he’s crazy in love. He’s foolish. He can’t do this. It’s far too soon for Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love” references. (“Girl, you had me, once you kissed me/My love for you is not iffy/I always want you with me/I’ll play Bobby and you’ll play Whitney/If you smoke, I’ll smoke too/That’s how much I’m in love with you/Crazy is what crazy do/Crazy in love, I’m a crazy fool.”)
Will.i.am then pretends to be like Nelly by southerning up his words. He asks why she’s uptight. He loves her for who she is but yet Fergie thinks he’s messing around. (“Why are you so insecure/When you got passion and love her/You always claimin’ I’m a cheater/Think I’d up and go leave ya/For another señorita/You forgot that I need ya/You must’ve caught amnesia/
That’s why you don’t believe.”)
He then puts on a pseudo-detached DJ voice and says “uh, yeah check it out.”) He then tells her he’s whipped. (“Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby/Cause you know you got me by a string, baby/Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby/Cause you know you got me by a string, baby.”)
An early 90s dance beat follows (which might be a Prodigy sample.) He compliments her, saying he’s fulfilled. He rather be with her than ogle other women. She’s his true love. (“Baby girl, you make me feel/You know you make me feel so real/I love you more than sex appeal/
(Cause you’re) That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl” The phrase “that girl” is repeated five times.
Then, the two phrases (“don’t phunk with my heart,” “that girl”) overlap twice.
The pre-chorus is then followed by “don’t you worry ’bout a thing baby…’cause you know you got me by a string, baby.” The ceremonious strings return for a dramatic finish.
The Black Eyed Peas reimagining of “I Wonder If I Take You Home” instrumentation is brilliant. The 2005 version of the freestyle single is transformed into a funk jam. Fergie stands out, having her best vocal moment with the Black Eyed Peas. However, Will.i.am’s tedious raps and sound effects drain the fun from the single with a single syllable.